Well, others here have said it. It appears your lady is a good one based on what you have told us. Certainly you have your money returned. However, are you be the first man to be tested this way by Mom, or is this a regular routine for any suitors?
Eight months is a substantially long test period, I think. Is it possible your lady had absolutely no idea about Mom's methods and intentions? What if the situation had been reversed? How would that have been treated by them? It is quite messed up, but the way you resolve this will speak volumes about you. I suspect you will resolve this in a way that reflects "WWSD" (What Would Solomon Do?). The fact that you asked for advice and didn't have one of those" Aaron McGuder Ni**er Moments" is a good thing.Date: Sunday, July 3, 2011, 11:14 PM Don't know how long it would have continued, that's a good question. As far as my girl knowing, judging from her facial expression and reaction and the conversation we had afterwards, I don't think she knew what was up. I'm going back over there tomorrow I really need to discuss this cause it just seems messed up to me.
From: Everett <a_gunslinger2u@yahoo.com>
To: ebonyvillage@yahoogroups.com
Sent: Monday, July 4, 2011 1:44 AM
Subject: Re: [ebonyvillage] Real Talk: Advice update and outcome
How interesting...and somewhat unfair. How long would that have gone on? Was your woman aware of this so-called test? How would the y feel if you performed a similar test of your own?
Anyway, two things...you got your cash returned with them knowing you have a $3500 limit; you know you must use your backbone at all times with them. Tally-ho...now go out and make us all proud!
--- On Sun, 7/3/11, Da Bedroom Gangsta <pussyologist_n_dc@yahoo.com> wrote:
From: Da Bedroom Gangsta <pussyologist_n_dc@yahoo.com>
Subject: Re: [ebonyvillage] Real Talk: Advice update and outcome
To: "ebonyvillage@yahoogroups.com" <ebonyvillage@yahoogroups.com>
Date: Sunday, July 3, 2011, 9:27 PM
Maybe, but man gotta tell you I'm feelin a little pissed off. Really don't know how I feel about it beyond feeling like I got played by the Moms, but the bonus is i got my money. But she didn't need it in the first damn place....she set out to test me, smh. From: mymanmyrt <mymanmyrt@gmail.com>
To: ebonyvillage@yahoogroups.com
Sent: Monday, July 4, 2011 12:22 AM
Subject: Re: [ebonyvillage] Real Talk: Advice update and outcome It's all good Dude You did what you needed to do.... So it was a test...so what She can think what she wants But she knows you have a good heart and you're not a push over either.....cause you manned up and the bonus is...you got your money back I'm thinkin win win..... ;-) On Mon, Jul 4, 2011 at 12:08 AM, Da Bedroom Gangsta <pussyologist_n_dc@yahoo.com> wrote: Ok, had the talk with my girl and she agreed that it needed to stop, but she felt I needed to confront her mother about this situation myself but she'd be there to intercede if needed. So we go over to her mothers place, and after a little chit chat, I say to the mother, you asked to borrow some money and you've been doing that a lot and you don't ever pay me back, so I'm going to give you the money you asked for this time, but this is the last time. Her mother goes into the bed room comes back out with a envelop give it to me, and in it is all the money she borrowed. Then she says I just wanted to be sure that you cared enough about my daughter to help her family if we needed it and that you were man enough to confront us if we needed it. I am right now completely out done, don't know if I've been played or vetted, I just think that shyt is wrong on a lot of levels, but I got my money back, and me and my girl are cool, so I guess it's alright. Damn who doesshyt like that? From: Da Bedroom Gangsta <pussyologist_n_dc@yahoo.com>
To: "ebonyvillage@yahoogroups.com" <ebonyvillage@yahoogroups.com>
Sent: Saturday, July 2, 2011 4:20 PM
Subject: Re: [ebonyvillage] Real Talk: AdviceThanx Don. Yeah before me I'm sure moms was welching off somebody else. The reason I think she might have strong influence over her daughter is because she's that dominate type. My girl has said things like, don't you have bills you gotta pay or did you tell her when you need your money back, so that tells me she knows what her Mom is doing and doesn't like it, but won't say anything directly to her. I on the other hand would have no trouble telling her mother, the buck (literally) stops here, and giving her a print out of what she owes and a deadline to pay it, I just don't want to hurt my girl. As for the pussy fee, I feel you on that, and me and my girl do a lot of things for each other, (cause there is a dick fee too) like pay for trips buy each other nice things etc. It's not even a matter of the money cause it's not hurting me in the pocket, it's just the idea that it's gotten more and more regular and there is never any mention of what is already owed. She really went from asking "can I borrow x amount", to "I need to borrow x amount", just assuming I'm going to give it to her. What prompted this appeal for some insight, was she left a message on my voice mail that said, and this is a direct quote....I need to borrow $500, so when u get this message, let me know when you can bring it by or when I can come and get it. I think I'm just gonna tell her I'm not going to do it and see how that plays out all the way around. From: Don Williams <d3onal3@pacbell.net>
To: ebonyvillage@yahoogroups.com
Sent: Saturday, July 2, 2011 12:48 PM
Subject: Re: [ebonyvillage] Real Talk: Advice WOW! OKAY! Before you came along Mom was making it without your help and she will continue to make it if this relationship dissolves. You have started something that may be difficult to stop depending on how much influence she really has on her daughter's relationships. You may have dug yourself a deep hole. She is not borrowing money you are giving her money. Now grated there is always a pussy fee in relationships if its in your budget fine. Your girl is not asking for cash so your pussy fees are going to Mama. I'm not into taking care of adults, but you have a choice to make. Keep the girl and the baggage (mom) if it's not killing you financially; or move on. It sounds like if you guys really hook up both of you will be helping moms out anyway which may not be such a great financial burden as it may seem now. My half cent. From: Da Bedroom Gangsta <pussyologist_n_dc@yahoo.com>
To: "ebonyvillage@yahoogroups.com" <ebonyvillage@yahoogroups.com>
Sent: Sat, July 2, 2011 9:15:40 AM
Subject: [ebonyvillage] Real Talk: Advice Yo, I figure some of you older and wiser bruthas can give me some insight on my next move. Not really my style to put it out here like this but maybe detached insight is what I need. So here's the deal: I've been kicking it with this young lady for about 8 months now, semi-serious, but it's not a committed relationship to the point of exclusivity, but I'm really feelin her, and every indication says it's mutual. She's a smart girl, independent, not the greatest job but she's making her ends meet, sexy as hell, and spiritual minded. She has the body type I like and for the most part our relationship is cool as hell. Here is the problem....HER MOTHER! Her mother isn't mean or nasty, I actually could deal with that. What her Mom does is borrow money. She'll need 100 for groceries, or 200 to get her car fixed, or this last time, 500 to make up the rent. I'm like WTF? My girl has never asked me for a single dime in the 8 months we been kicking it, but her mother is into me for at least 3 grand. I'm really done. I suspect her Mom has the kind of influence on her daughter that could tank this relationship, and I really would like it to continue to see what might jump off, but I can't keep being her Mom's private ATM....What do the bruthas say... ladies in the group your insight is welcome too...
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