My New Doctor's advice

This sounds like my kind of Doctor:  Dr Nut Ting Wong Q: Doctor, I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is this true?  A: Your heart only good for so many beats, and that it... Don't waste on exercise Everything wear out eventually. Speeding up heart not make you live longer; it like saying you extend life of car by driving faster Want to live longer? Take nap. Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake? A: No, not at all. Wine made from fruit. Beer also made of grain. Fruits & grains good for you.  Bottom up! Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?  A: Well, if you have body and you have fat, your ratio one to one. If you have two bodies, your ratio two to one, etc. Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program?  A: Can't think of single one, sorry. My philosophy is: No pain...good! Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you? A: YOU NOT LISTENING! Food are fried these days in vegetable oil. How could getting more vegetable be bad for you?!? Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle?  A: Definitely not! When you exercise muscle, it get bigger. You should only be doing sit-up if you want bigger stomach. Q: Is chocolate bad for me?  A: Are you crazy?!? Cocoa bean! Another vegetable! It best feel-good food around! Q: Is swimming good for your figure?  A: If swimming good for your figure, explain whale to me.. Q: Is getting in shape important for my lifestyle?  A: Hey! 'Round' is shape! Well... I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about food and diets. And remember: Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well-preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways - Chardonnay in one hand -chocolate in the other - body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming "WOO-HOO, what a ride!!" AND..... For those of you who watch what you eat, here's the final word on nutrition and health.  It's a relief to know the truth after all those conflicting nutritional studies. 1. The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks     than Americans. 2. The Mexicans eat a lot of fat and suffer fewer heart attacks     than Americans. 3. The Chinese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart     attacks than Americans. 4. The Italians drink a lot of red wine and suffer fewer heart     attacks than Americans.. 5. The Germans drink a lot of beer and eat lots of sausages and     fats and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans. CONCLUSION: Eat and drink what you like. Speaking English is apparently what kills you.