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The Cohens were shown into the dentist's office, where Mr. Cohen made it clear he was in a big hurry.
"Non of that fancy stuff either, Doc," he firmly ordered, "No gas or needles or any of that crap. Just pull the darn tooth and get it over with."
"Wow, I wish more of my patients were as stoic as you," said the dentist admiringly. "Now, which tooth is it?"
Mr. Cohen turned to his wife, "Show him your tooth honey."
We have a skunk in the basement," shrieked the caller to the police dispatcher . "How can we get it out?"
"Take some bread crumbs ," said the dispatcher, "and put down a trail from the basement out to the back yard. Then leave the cellar door open."
Sometime later the resident called back. "Did you get rid of it?" asked the dispatcher.
"No," replied the caller. "Now I have two skunks in there"!
This beautiful woman one day walks into a doctors office and the doctor is bowled over by how stunningly awesome she is. All his professionallism goes right out the window...
He tells her to take her pants, she does, and he starts rubbing her thighs.
"Do you know what I am doing?" asks the doctor?
"Yes, checking for abnormalities." she replies.
He tells her to take off her shirt and bra, she takes them off. The doctor begins rubbing her breasts and asks, "Do you know what I am doing now?", she replies, "Yes, checking for cancer."
Finally, he tells her to take off her panties, lays her on the table, and begins to lick her vagina for a few minutes. Out of breath and apparently aroused, says to her, "Do you know what I am doing now?"
She replies, "Yes, getting herpies - thats why I am here!"
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